There is a Season

Do you keep mementos that you are fairly certain you’ll never look at again, but can’t give away? I have sometimes hung on to something that has far outlived its usefulness because it was expensive, has an emotional tie or I hope that it might come back in style. In the far reaches of my closet, I found a keepsake that once was very special to me. Many things in life have a point-in-time where they are meaningful and for today’s item that time had long passed. In fact, it reminded me of an instance when I did let go of something that was important to me.

In the 1980’s, many of my husband’s and my friendships involved common interests like downhill skiing or mountain biking. Very few friends dropped out of the group and we added a few along the way. However, one friend opened my eyes to a different perspective.

After graduating from college, he had taken a corporate job and became burned out. During this crossroads in his life, he asked if he could stay in the mother-in-law apartment in our basement. He filled his days doing two of his favorite things: skiing and washing dishes. Since we didn’t have a dishwasher, I was happy for him to pitch in. But after many weeks we realized that he needed a little encouragement to get through this transition. He moved on, with our friendship still intact.

Through the busyness of life we lost touch with him. In the early 1990’s he had a chance meeting with one our friends and said that the reason none of us had heard from him was because, we were “80’s friends.” At first I was offended. We provided housing and moral support and now he is just going to write us off? But then I realized he was right. He had evolved and changed and, truth be told, so had we. What we once had in common, we no longer did.

It made me realize that the “stuff” I own is similar. I loved my acrylic paints, but they haven’t seen a canvas in years. Some of the self-help books that I bought in the 90’s just don’t seem relevant anymore. And the sports memorabilia from one of my former schools, no longer interests me.

For today’s gift, I gave my college souvenirs to a young man who is devoted to my old school. It reminds me of the words from the song by the Byrds “to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Written by Pete Seger in the late 1950’s adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible and sung by The Byrds.)

In Giving,

Robin