Stop That

Maxine, the comic strip character has a lot to say about life:

1.   “After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.”

2.   “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita”.

3.   “It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.”

4.   “My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be”

5.   “To stay relaxed in today’s frantic, stressful world, you have to force yourself to stop & put your feet up. I put mine up just high enough to kick the butt of whoever’s annoying me.”

6.   “ I don’t see the glass as half-empty or half-full. I see it as a glass somebody else has already put their lousy germs on.”

7.   “Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have POWER SURGES!!”

8.   “I’ll carpool when I can find three people who don’t talk, sweat, whistle, or use cologne.”

9.     “I enjoy wallpapering, it gives me a chance to brush up on the swear words I haven’t used in a while.”

10.  “Caffeine is for people who feel they aren’t irritable enough on their own.”

11.  “Sometimes the days just fly by—except for the day when you have to wait for the cable guy.”

12.  “Found something at the swimsuit shop I was really comfortable in. The dressing room.”

13.  “I like to give advice to young parents: but “Muzzle that screamin’ brat!” isn’t very well received.”

14.  “If I had a nickel for every time I’ve misplaced my keys, there’d be a jarful of money that I’d also have to look for.”

15.  “Sometimes work can be stressful. Especially for people that work with me.”

16.  “Aging, like fine wine, means spending a lot of your time on your side, lying down.”

I don’t know if aging is like a fine wine, but people who open a bottle of wine need something to replace the cork to help preserve what is leftover. Today’s gift was to give our friend Mary Liz a hand painted wine stopper. Now, what would Maxine say about stopping that?

In Giving,

Robin