Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Looney Tunes and Candy Bar Stories

In 1972, I was a 9th grade newspaper reporter who was known for my column, Looney Tunes, in the The Bulletin school newspaper. I found this in a box in the closet:

Mrs. Kincaid said, “I Am Woman”, but I still can’t get my picture on the “Cover of the Rollin’ Stones.” “Funny Face”, alias Miss Kourey, said, “I’ve been to Canaan and I Want to go Back” when she found out “There is No Beer in Heaven.” Mrs. Lilly exclaimed, “You’re so Vain” since “Mama Don’t Dance and Daddy don’t Rock and Roll.” Miss Tindilia was overheard to say, “Don’t Expect Me to Be Your Friend” since I saw you “Dancing in the Moonlight” with “Clair” on the “Crocodile Rock.” Mr. Peters cried, “I Don’t Want to Be Lonely, You Poor Little Fool Like Me” since the “Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress” left the establishment. Mrs. O’Neill said, “Pieces of April Make Her Feel Fine” in the “Summer Breeze”, especially since she has the “Rocky Mountain Highs.”

In later years, I graduated from creating stories from song titles about my teachers to writing tales about candy bars.

Mr. Goodbar and Baby Ruth were given 100 Grand on Payday. They knew it was because they had a Sugar Daddy named Rolo. They were so excited they ran a Marathon and celebrated afterwards on 5th Avenue. Then the 3 Musketeers tried to get in on the action and get some of the Pot of Gold. They filled their Mounds with Hershey’s Kisses and offered them to Mr. Goodbar and Baby Ruth, but to no avail. The pair kept their Bounty for themselves.

Today’s gift reminded me of those days when Ina, a Klamath Union High School student, asked if I would buy a candy bar to raise money for their school. I didn’t make her listen to my rendition of Looney Tunes or the Candy Bar story to get her money. I am sure she was happy about that.

In Giving,


Robin

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