Texts Gone Bad

Have you ever texted someone and the word you thought you wrote is not the one that you texted? Autocorrect can jumble the meaning of written words in a humorous way. Here are some texts that made me laugh:

Mom: You are definitely coming here for Christmas, right? I am cooking ham.

Melissa: Yes – and I’m bringing drugs.

Mom: Don’t you even THINK about bringing drugs into this house Melissa.

Melissa: Wow chill mom. I meant I’m bringing DOUG.

Mom: Well why didn’t you say that?

Elliot: Hey can you get pregnant before you come over today?

Tom: What???

Elliot: I meant to ask if you could get Pringles at the grocery store. Pringles . . . the chips . . . not pregnant

Tom: OMG ahhh hahahahah

Connor: I love thunder so much.

Bob: I know me too! Except when it makes my dog bark, so usually only when I’m outside.

Connor: My dad barks too, we have to comfort him.

Bob: I’m so sorry, I imagine his manly vocal chords cause much more commotion than a small dog.

Bob: Oh did you mean dog?

Connor: Yeah, no, duh!

Emily: Love you babe! Goodnight!

Brian: My love for you is so strong I would buy you a casket if I could!

Brian: Castle. I promise I meant castle.

Brian: Autocorrect why do you have to ruin me so?

Brian: Emily?

Brian: Hello?

Tinkler: J What are your plans for today then?

Sam: Nothing beyond seeing you dead

Sam: Dear!!!

Jim: Great news. Grandma is homosexual!

Sue: Okay?

Jim: Homo hot lips

Jim: Hot tulips

Jim: I am getting fisted now

Jim: Frustrated

Jim: GRANDMA IS HOME FROM HOSPITAL

Sue: Hahaha homo hot lips?

Dad: If you and your girlfriend want to come over for dinner, be here at 6

Dad: I’m grilling up some baby black kids. Gonna be delicious.

Son: As tempting as that sounds we both have to work til 11

Dad: Yeah, I meant baby back ribs. And more for me.

Ted: Come over, I miss you!

Sue: I’m too fat

Ted: Time to use that gym membership I got you.

Sue: Far, I’m too far

Ted: What?!!!

Unknown caller: I’ll always love you. Just want you to know Stacy.

Andrea: I believe you have the wrong number

Unknown caller: Stacy please don’t do this to me. I know I messed up but it doesn’t have to end this way.

Andrea: No really my name is not Stacy. You have the wrong number.

Unknown caller: Oh my bad . . .

Son: Ha ha mom. What does ++ mean

Mom: I puushed. The ttwrong. Buttons. Iiidontknowto erase

Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL

David: Why is that funny?

Mom: It’s not funny David! What do you mean?

David: Mom LOL means laughing out loud!

Mom: Oh my goodness!!! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back. Oh no!

A friend called me and told me about a text exchange she had with a co-worker who responded, “I wish that I had already started drinking, it sounds like you have.” My friend said, “Enough with the auto correct.” She couldn’t find the setting on her phone and was very frustrated.

Today’s gift was to help my friend turn off auto correct on her cell phone. Now, she is looking forward to not having any more “texts gone bad.”

In Giving,

Robin