Shoplifting in Reverse

Did I ever tell you about the young Zode,

Who came to two signs at the fork in the road?
One said to Place One, and the other, Place Two.
So the Zode had to make up his mind what to do.
Well…the Zode scratched his head, and his chin and his pants.

And he said to himself, “I’ll be taking a chance
If I go to Place One. Now, that place may be hot!
And so, how do I know if I’ll like it or not?
On the other hand though, I’ll be sort of a fool
If I go to Place Two and find it too cool.
In that case I may catch a chill and turn blue!
So, maybe Place One is the best, not Place Two,
But then again, what if Place One is too high?
I may catch a terrible earache and die!
So Place Two may be best!

On the other hand though…
What might happen to me if Place Two is too low?
I might get some very strange pain in my toe!
So Place One may be best,” and he started to go.
Then he stopped, and he said, “On the other hand
though…. On the other hand…other hand…other hand though…”

And for 36 hours and a half that poor Zode
Made starts and made stops at the fork in the road.
Saying, “Don’t take a chance. No! You may not be right.”
Then he got an idea that was wonderfully bright!
“Play safe!” cried the Zode. “I’ll play safe. I’m no dunce!
I’ll simply start out for both places at once!”
And that’s how the Zode who would not take a chance
Got no place at all with a split in his pants.

By Dr. Seuss

I thought of this when I saw the cloth wine tote bags that we had accumulated from people visiting our house and bringing wine. We didn’t need that many so Place One that I took them was our Wine Dine group. No one there wanted them because they have more than they need. Place Two was from whence they came but the challenge would be to sneak them back into the Fred Meyer store. Could I get arrested for shoplifting-in-reverse?

I planned carefully; I’d put them in my shopping cart and as I nonchalantly passed the wine department, I could slide the bags onto the rack. One problem that I didn’t expect was that they had moved the rack. Up one aisle and down the other, but it was not where it always had been. I found it right behind the self-check aisle and waited until the checkout person turned her back.

Today’s gift was to quickly put the wine bags back on the rack and then hurriedly walk down the aisle. I chose Place One and when that didn’t work I chose Place Two. Fortunately I didn’t end up with a split in my pants because of my shoplifting-in-reverse scheme.

In Giving,

Robin